![]() ![]() That’s literally the most important part of the game, after all. Lori: Let’s start off with your golf swing. Lori: You’ll get the hang of it once we start playing. Some of this stuff sounds, like, really complicated. Laundry is usually Lori’s chore, and I happen know firsthand how hard it is to steam clean chiffon. Lincoln: Well, now you have to win, Lynn. Lynn: Oh, will you stop whining? Nothing bad’s gonna happen. And more often than not, it gets people hurt. Lincoln: Um, Lynn? Are you sure it’s okay to do this indoors? Lincoln: Hey! I’ll have you know that I still have the high score in Wii Sports Golf in this house! Lynn: Lincoln, just because you’ve beaten Clyde at Disgruntled Fantasy Links ten times in a row doesn’t mean you know about golf. Lincoln: Lynn, I already know how to play golf. If we’re gonna beat Lori and Leni on Saturday, you need to learn your stuff. Lynn: A good golfer is prepared for anything, Lincoln. Lincoln: Lynn? A-are you sure I need this many clubs? Lincoln: Um, don’t Leni and I get a say in this? Lynn: Great! We tee off at noon on Saturday. Lynn: How about we make it official? Say, Saturday at Hole In One-derland? And the loser has to do the winner’s chores for a month. I’ll teach Leni everything I know, and we’ll literally wipe the floor with you! Lori: If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not gonna work. You’ve got the best teacher in the world, apparently. Leni: Yeah! Like, I don’t know how to play golf! I don’t even know where left field is! Lincoln: What?! Why do we have to be part of this?! Lori: You want to challenge me to a round of golf? No sweat. Lynn: Tell you what, Lori? You sound pretty confident in your golfing skills. Leni: Wait, is that true? I could’ve sworn you started playing golf when you were five. Lori: I’ve literally been playing this game for longer than you’ve been alive! Prissy Pants over here can beat me at my own game! Lynn: No way! There is no chance in the world that Ms. Why can’t you just accept that you’re both good at sports? Lincoln: Girls, there’s no need to fight. I know! No one can beat Lynn Loud at any sport! Lori: That’s exactly what I’m saying, Lynn Loud Junior. Lynn: Are you saying you would beat me at a sport? You, of all people? ![]() And, well, when I think of the word “sophisticated,” I definitely don’t think of you. Lincoln: Um, uh, Lori? Maybe you should just. Lori: You may be good at a lot of sports, Lynn, but this is one game you just can’t hack. Lori: What? I’m not allowed to keep myself in top form? I happen to take my golfing very seriously, FYI. Since when do you practice sports in the backyard? That’s myschtick. Lori: Guys, do you mind?! I’m trying to work on my putting over here! Lincoln: I told you making Leni the referee was a bad idea. Lynn: Aw, what?! That was a let at best! And that’s something no one can take away from me. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I might have a good chance at making the Masters Tournament someday. I’ve been playing this game since she was literally still in diapers. Lori: Lynn may be the sporty one in our family, but when it comes to golf, she can’t hold a candle to me. But that’s because they already know what I’m good at. Between Luna’s music, Luan’s comedy, Lisa’s brains, Lana’s technical expertise, and Lola’s pageants, people often ask me: Lori, where do you fit in? What special talents do you have? Lori: When you have as many talented siblings as I do, it’s sometimes hard to stand out. ![]()
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